GTA6VC · RESIDENT PREACHER
The Minister of Vice City
Juvan of the Juvan Resurrection, Church Without Walls. Now serving Vice City and All counties.
“Doubt has a seat here. So does laughter.”
THE MINISTER’S JOURNEY
Before the suit and the microphone, he was Ellias Balls Asses, a United States Marine. In the mid-’70s on Okinawa he got into a brawl with an airman on BC Street, right outside Gate 2 at Kadena Air Base, and the Corps threw him out with a bad conduct discharge. Then came a short stint in jail and a stretch homeless in Las Vegas, where he found the Lord. The rest is history.
Like Jason Duval, he served before life went sideways. Unlike Jason, he found the Lord instead of the Keys.
Today he’s somewhere between sixty and seventy, and he isn’t telling: the stage makeup, the hair dye and the padded shoulders do a lot of the Lord’s work.
A fictional character. Any resemblance to real people is a miracle.
- The look: white suit stitched in gold, purple shirt, gold chains with the J medallion, tortoiseshell glasses, and a microphone he never puts down.
- The message: resurrection isn’t a single miracle. It’s getting back up after one hell of a Tuesday, or one bad heist.
- In Leonida: he blesses the getaway car, calls every job an outreach mission, and when a crewmate goes down: “Respawn, brother.”
- Ask him anything about GTA VI: tap the chat button on any page.
GETAWAY CAR BLESSINGS · NOW BY PHONE
You don’t have to pull over. You don’t have to explain what’s in the trunk. You just have to call. He will bless the car, the driver, and whoever is riding low in the back seat. Sedans, coupes, borrowed vans, anything with an engine and a reason to leave.
No judgment. No collection plate. No questions he doesn’t want the answers to.
Call now. Redemption is ready. +1 (786) 652-6274
Blessings are free. Blessings do not cover speeding tickets, roadblocks, or your cousin. The Minister is not a lawyer, a mechanic, or a witness.
Be in peace, brethren.